Grandad.

Yesterday was my Grandads birthday.
It's been a couple years since he's passed now, but I will never forget Grandad Raisin.
He loved his family so much. He was such an amazing man.
Everyone who knew Ray Williams loved him dearly.
I remember when I was little and Grandad would take Haleigh and I on walks around the neighborhood. He would tell us stories that were so detailed, as we walked the block. He held our hands. I always loved to hold the hand with the "funny finger." The finger with half a nail, due to the lawn mower. This was the same hand I held as I watched grandad pass. I remember going to the hospital and holding that same hand the whole time, rubbing that funny finger, as I did every time I saw him. I miss his soft hands.

I remember going to Grandads when I was a little girl and climbing on his lap in his lounge chair and snuggling up close. I remember him reading me books, though sometimes he'd change the words, and showing me pictures, telling me stories about my dad and his siblings, stories about my grandmother. What I remember most about those moments was Grandads smell. I loved the way he smelled and the way I could smell him for hours afterward. It wasn't cologne, it wasn't the smell of soap, it was just Grandads smell. I smelled it every time I saw him, even until the day he passed. Sometimes when I think about him now, I can almost smell it.

I remember the way Grandad ate. He would wait til' almost last to get his plate of food because when the grand kids weren't looking he'd eat off of their plate. He loved food. He loved all kinds of food, especially Mexican food. I loved that he loved food so much. He would come over on Christmas day and eat the left over carrots we left out for the reindeer's, I remember this so much. He loved Thanksgiving. He would always eat the rest of the food I couldn't eat on my plate! I miss this.

There was one time I went over to Grandads and taught him how to walk like a "gangster." He laughed so hard, I loved that we could always make each other smile. My junior year I did a report on my ancestors, I spent so much time with Grandad those days. I loved every second I got to get to know him even more, to laugh, to tell stories, just the two of us. These memories ran through my head as I said goodbye to him. I whispered to him thank you for being one of my best friends, I know he couldn't talk back with me, but I knew he heard me. I felt it. I wish I would have spent more one on one with him!

More than anything I remember the phone calls. Grandad would call me all the time, just to say hello! He'd call to see how school was, how I was doing, to make sure I didn't have a boyfriend, to tell me what was new with him. I loved getting calls from Grandad. Even if mid-conversation he would say "I sure do love you" and I would say it back, then he'd hang up. I didn't even think the conversation was over. I love that. That is what I miss the most. I remember in the hospital, waiting for them to let him go, holding his hand, and listening to the voicemails I had saved from him, watching any videos where I could hear his voice. I still listen to them, I miss his voice. Some days when I am having a bad day I just wish I could get just ONE more phone call, for him to call me his Blondie just ONE more time.

I love Grandad so much, and I can't wait for the reunion I have with him again someday. I am so thankful for the memories I have of him. What a amazing grandfather he was, I am eternally thankful for his example! and to be named after him (this is where my middle name comes from, Rae.)

The reason I write these memories is because I was thinking about him all day yesterday, and how there wouldn't be one of his birthday parties this year to share my memories at.

Happy Birthday, Grandad Raisin.
I love you!
Love Always,
Your Blondie.