March 30, 2010


Yesterday was my Grandads birthday.
It's been a couple years since he's passed now, but I will never forget Grandad Raisin.
He loved his family so much. He was such an amazing man.
Everyone who knew Ray Williams loved him dearly.
I remember when I was little and Grandad would take Haleigh and I on walks around the neighborhood. He would tell us stories that were so detailed, as we walked the block. He held our hands. I always loved to hold the hand with the "funny finger." The finger with half a nail, due to the lawn mower. This was the same hand I held as I watched grandad pass. I remember going to the hospital and holding that same hand the whole time, rubbing that funny finger, as I did every time I saw him. I miss his soft hands.

I remember going to Grandads when I was a little girl and climbing on his lap in his lounge chair and snuggling up close. I remember him reading me books, though sometimes he'd change the words, and showing me pictures, telling me stories about my dad and his siblings, stories about my grandmother. What I remember most about those moments was Grandads smell. I loved the way he smelled and the way I could smell him for hours afterward. It wasn't cologne, it wasn't the smell of soap, it was just Grandads smell. I smelled it every time I saw him, even until the day he passed. Sometimes when I think about him now, I can almost smell it.

I remember the way Grandad ate. He would wait til' almost last to get his plate of food because when the grand kids weren't looking he'd eat off of their plate. He loved food. He loved all kinds of food, especially Mexican food. I loved that he loved food so much. He would come over on Christmas day and eat the left over carrots we left out for the reindeer's, I remember this so much. He loved Thanksgiving. He would always eat the rest of the food I couldn't eat on my plate! I miss this.

There was one time I went over to Grandads and taught him how to walk like a "gangster." He laughed so hard, I loved that we could always make each other smile. My junior year I did a report on my ancestors, I spent so much time with Grandad those days. I loved every second I got to get to know him even more, to laugh, to tell stories, just the two of us. These memories ran through my head as I said goodbye to him. I whispered to him thank you for being one of my best friends, I know he couldn't talk back with me, but I knew he heard me. I felt it. I wish I would have spent more one on one with him!

More than anything I remember the phone calls. Grandad would call me all the time, just to say hello! He'd call to see how school was, how I was doing, to make sure I didn't have a boyfriend, to tell me what was new with him. I loved getting calls from Grandad. Even if mid-conversation he would say "I sure do love you" and I would say it back, then he'd hang up. I didn't even think the conversation was over. I love that. That is what I miss the most. I remember in the hospital, waiting for them to let him go, holding his hand, and listening to the voicemails I had saved from him, watching any videos where I could hear his voice. I still listen to them, I miss his voice. Some days when I am having a bad day I just wish I could get just ONE more phone call, for him to call me his Blondie just ONE more time.

I love Grandad so much, and I can't wait for the reunion I have with him again someday. I am so thankful for the memories I have of him. What a amazing grandfather he was, I am eternally thankful for his example! and to be named after him (this is where my middle name comes from, Rae.)

The reason I write these memories is because I was thinking about him all day yesterday, and how there wouldn't be one of his birthday parties this year to share my memories at.

Happy Birthday, Grandad Raisin.
I love you!
Love Always,
Your Blondie.

March 23, 2010


They should know better by now than to come in our tree and make noises.
Dang squirrels, they are so loud.

March 9, 2010

Lucky me!

So I know I have been so bad on blogging, and only blogging on birthdays, but I am going to blog now about MY birthday! Those of you who know me well enough, know I don't go out of my way to let people know my birthday is coming up, I don't even hardly celebrate it. I think the most I do every year is go to Oregano's (which is my favorite) with my best girl friends, and then Outback (my other favorite!) with my family! Thats what I do every year, but this year was different, because a couple reasons. For one, I am married now. Two, I live in Utah. Three, there is no Oreganos here. So this year was a little different, well a lot different, but it was one of the best yet!

My birthday was on Saturday, so Brian, being the sweetheart that he is, wanted to celebrate my birthday ALL weekend. He picked me up at work on Friday around 12, and suprised me with taking me to my favorite furniture stores from Salt Lake to Provo. Which is about a 40 minute drive. Anyways, we stopped at about 8 stores, and he spoiled me with a BEAUTIFUL bed for our guest room.

A chair for our desk that he has been searching for forever.

And a dresser! Finally! (WE have been married almost 4 months and still dont have dressers, you can only imagine how grouchy I am with clear plastic buckets from walmart on the ground with stacks of clothes in them, very grouchy)

So after we purchased our beautiful items, which our last item purchased was in Provo, we drove to our friends , the Belnaps, house! They are young and married too, and Og and Brian went to high school together and Maddie and I both grew up in Gilbert and had a lot of the same friends, knew who eachother was but never really talked. Maddie and I have become very close and I consider her one of my best friends. We love to spend time with them as often as we can! Anyways, we went over to their house to visit for a bit, and Maddie had two present on her counter top, one from her... which was a little care package (wink wink) for the weekend. Some bath salts, some lotion, a bracelet, and some other fun stuff! The other gift was from Brian! What a suprise! In there was two cute shirts for date night on my birthday! Then Brian and I said goodbye and hurried back to our humble abode to set up our furniture, brians dad and brother helped brian set it all up!

After the furniture was all set up we packed our bags and headed to Park City. I really wanted to get away just the two of us, and Brian kept playing it off that he didnt think we could go this weekend, so when he told me we were going I was suprised and very happy! The drive up was nice, Brian and I close to never listen to music when we are in the car together, we like to have silence and talk to eachother, or sometimes brian will make ip funny little songs, about just about anything. Anyways, when we got there we were pretty tired, so we laod down and watched a movie and both of us fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up to, "Happy Birthday, Bebe" haha in his tired voice, in the middle of him waking up and stretching. The day was prefect, we spent the whole day just together, relaxing and doing fun things. Brian gave me a massage in the morning which was nice, I really needed that. We got ready and went shopping, as well as window shopping. We had a great day, then we went to one of his favorite places to eat up there, Davanzas. He goes there a lot when he going snowboarding. It filled us both up, too much. We got back to the hotel and went in the hot tub.I got all my birthday presents from Brian....

Then we each took hot showers and got in our lounge wear haha and laid in bed and I napped while Brian watched a movie. Usually, I fall asleep in every movie we watch together, Brian always wants me to stay up and watch it with him so he will bug me so that I can't fall asleep, but this time he just let me rest. Again, sweet boy I have. After I woke up, we were both still so full and did not want to go out to dinner so instead we walked to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and spent just as much as dinner would have on sweets. We walked back and just hung out the rest of the night! We love the time we get to spend together because our days are so hectic and the only time we really have to talk and hang out is when we get home from school at about 9:30pm. So I really cherished all the time we had alone together this weekend. I love this man so much! Sunday we woke up and we went to church, drove home and made dinner and organized the house!

It has been a great month, I love Brian Matthew.