So Blessed.

"When I heard the news,
My heart fell on the floor
I was on a plane on my way to Baltimore
In these trouble times its hard enough as it is
My soul has a known a better life than this

I wonder how so many can be in so much pain,
While others dont seem to feel a thing
Then I curse my whiteness,
and I get so damn depressed,
In a world of suffering,
Why should I be so blessed?"
-Brett Dennen


I've been listening to this song a lot lately, feeling so blessed for the things I have, for the place I live.

My little sister just went to Guatemala for 10 days to do humanitarian work. Maybe thats why these thoughts have been running circles in my head, but I feel so blessed. I think about times when I complain about the little things like when theres no hot water left in the shower, or the heater in the house isn't warm enough. I am trying to be optimistic lately, I should feel so blessed to have these things in my life everyday.



I've traveled A LOT around the world, I have been to alot of 3rd world countries and I've seen the way most people live. I am so thankful for people like Haleigh who devote their time to serve others, to help make someones life a little better.

Brian and I go to Paraguay in two months. I can't wait to go, I hope I can do something to help others while we are there visitng his mission.

Wow.

Just recently, Brian and I attended our friends, Maddie & Og's, stake conference. Their stake is a married student stake at BYU. It was nice to be around people who were all in the same situation as us; working full-time, students full-time, hardly getting to see their spouse. These were people we could relate to.. Our ward is older and I am almost positive we are the only newlyweds (being as the other newlyweds who moved in after us, moved to a new house!)

Anyways, my whole point of this was that those talks have been playing in my head for weeks now. One line in particular.

"Men, if you saw your wives the way our Heavenly Father did, you would fall to your knees."

Tears filled his eyes as he spoke these words and his voice shook. Wow, what a strong, amazing statement.

This statment has been such a motivation, it has helped me to want to be the best wife/friend/woman I can be. I can only hope to continue to learn and to live to be just that. I have a long way to go, but I know I can do it.

I am so thankful for a husband who helps me daily, teaches me to be a better person, who puts me before others and loves me. He is the best friend ever, and I only hope one day I can be seen by not only him, but everyone, the way Heavenly Father sees me.

"For with God nothing shall be impossible."
-Luke 1:37


I love this scripture. It has so much power. It helps me daily.
I love my Savior.

Grandad.

Yesterday was my Grandads birthday.
It's been a couple years since he's passed now, but I will never forget Grandad Raisin.
He loved his family so much. He was such an amazing man.
Everyone who knew Ray Williams loved him dearly.
I remember when I was little and Grandad would take Haleigh and I on walks around the neighborhood. He would tell us stories that were so detailed, as we walked the block. He held our hands. I always loved to hold the hand with the "funny finger." The finger with half a nail, due to the lawn mower. This was the same hand I held as I watched grandad pass. I remember going to the hospital and holding that same hand the whole time, rubbing that funny finger, as I did every time I saw him. I miss his soft hands.

I remember going to Grandads when I was a little girl and climbing on his lap in his lounge chair and snuggling up close. I remember him reading me books, though sometimes he'd change the words, and showing me pictures, telling me stories about my dad and his siblings, stories about my grandmother. What I remember most about those moments was Grandads smell. I loved the way he smelled and the way I could smell him for hours afterward. It wasn't cologne, it wasn't the smell of soap, it was just Grandads smell. I smelled it every time I saw him, even until the day he passed. Sometimes when I think about him now, I can almost smell it.

I remember the way Grandad ate. He would wait til' almost last to get his plate of food because when the grand kids weren't looking he'd eat off of their plate. He loved food. He loved all kinds of food, especially Mexican food. I loved that he loved food so much. He would come over on Christmas day and eat the left over carrots we left out for the reindeer's, I remember this so much. He loved Thanksgiving. He would always eat the rest of the food I couldn't eat on my plate! I miss this.

There was one time I went over to Grandads and taught him how to walk like a "gangster." He laughed so hard, I loved that we could always make each other smile. My junior year I did a report on my ancestors, I spent so much time with Grandad those days. I loved every second I got to get to know him even more, to laugh, to tell stories, just the two of us. These memories ran through my head as I said goodbye to him. I whispered to him thank you for being one of my best friends, I know he couldn't talk back with me, but I knew he heard me. I felt it. I wish I would have spent more one on one with him!

More than anything I remember the phone calls. Grandad would call me all the time, just to say hello! He'd call to see how school was, how I was doing, to make sure I didn't have a boyfriend, to tell me what was new with him. I loved getting calls from Grandad. Even if mid-conversation he would say "I sure do love you" and I would say it back, then he'd hang up. I didn't even think the conversation was over. I love that. That is what I miss the most. I remember in the hospital, waiting for them to let him go, holding his hand, and listening to the voicemails I had saved from him, watching any videos where I could hear his voice. I still listen to them, I miss his voice. Some days when I am having a bad day I just wish I could get just ONE more phone call, for him to call me his Blondie just ONE more time.

I love Grandad so much, and I can't wait for the reunion I have with him again someday. I am so thankful for the memories I have of him. What a amazing grandfather he was, I am eternally thankful for his example! and to be named after him (this is where my middle name comes from, Rae.)

The reason I write these memories is because I was thinking about him all day yesterday, and how there wouldn't be one of his birthday parties this year to share my memories at.

Happy Birthday, Grandad Raisin.
I love you!
Love Always,
Your Blondie.

Squirrels.

They should know better by now than to come in our tree and make noises.
Dang squirrels, they are so loud.

Lucky me!

So I know I have been so bad on blogging, and only blogging on birthdays, but I am going to blog now about MY birthday! Those of you who know me well enough, know I don't go out of my way to let people know my birthday is coming up, I don't even hardly celebrate it. I think the most I do every year is go to Oregano's (which is my favorite) with my best girl friends, and then Outback (my other favorite!) with my family! Thats what I do every year, but this year was different, because a couple reasons. For one, I am married now. Two, I live in Utah. Three, there is no Oreganos here. So this year was a little different, well a lot different, but it was one of the best yet!

My birthday was on Saturday, so Brian, being the sweetheart that he is, wanted to celebrate my birthday ALL weekend. He picked me up at work on Friday around 12, and suprised me with taking me to my favorite furniture stores from Salt Lake to Provo. Which is about a 40 minute drive. Anyways, we stopped at about 8 stores, and he spoiled me with a BEAUTIFUL bed for our guest room.

A chair for our desk that he has been searching for forever.

And a dresser! Finally! (WE have been married almost 4 months and still dont have dressers, you can only imagine how grouchy I am with clear plastic buckets from walmart on the ground with stacks of clothes in them, very grouchy)

So after we purchased our beautiful items, which our last item purchased was in Provo, we drove to our friends , the Belnaps, house! They are young and married too, and Og and Brian went to high school together and Maddie and I both grew up in Gilbert and had a lot of the same friends, knew who eachother was but never really talked. Maddie and I have become very close and I consider her one of my best friends. We love to spend time with them as often as we can! Anyways, we went over to their house to visit for a bit, and Maddie had two present on her counter top, one from her... which was a little care package (wink wink) for the weekend. Some bath salts, some lotion, a bracelet, and some other fun stuff! The other gift was from Brian! What a suprise! In there was two cute shirts for date night on my birthday! Then Brian and I said goodbye and hurried back to our humble abode to set up our furniture, brians dad and brother helped brian set it all up!

After the furniture was all set up we packed our bags and headed to Park City. I really wanted to get away just the two of us, and Brian kept playing it off that he didnt think we could go this weekend, so when he told me we were going I was suprised and very happy! The drive up was nice, Brian and I close to never listen to music when we are in the car together, we like to have silence and talk to eachother, or sometimes brian will make ip funny little songs, about just about anything. Anyways, when we got there we were pretty tired, so we laod down and watched a movie and both of us fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up to, "Happy Birthday, Bebe" haha in his tired voice, in the middle of him waking up and stretching. The day was prefect, we spent the whole day just together, relaxing and doing fun things. Brian gave me a massage in the morning which was nice, I really needed that. We got ready and went shopping, as well as window shopping. We had a great day, then we went to one of his favorite places to eat up there, Davanzas. He goes there a lot when he going snowboarding. It filled us both up, too much. We got back to the hotel and went in the hot tub.I got all my birthday presents from Brian....

Then we each took hot showers and got in our lounge wear haha and laid in bed and I napped while Brian watched a movie. Usually, I fall asleep in every movie we watch together, Brian always wants me to stay up and watch it with him so he will bug me so that I can't fall asleep, but this time he just let me rest. Again, sweet boy I have. After I woke up, we were both still so full and did not want to go out to dinner so instead we walked to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and spent just as much as dinner would have on sweets. We walked back and just hung out the rest of the night! We love the time we get to spend together because our days are so hectic and the only time we really have to talk and hang out is when we get home from school at about 9:30pm. So I really cherished all the time we had alone together this weekend. I love this man so much! Sunday we woke up and we went to church, drove home and made dinner and organized the house!

It has been a great month, I love Brian Matthew.

Happy Birthday Loves of mine!

In the Past 3 days there has been birthdays of four people whom I love dearly. All of whom are family!


Lets start off with my best friend, Lily! Happy Birthday Lil Bug! I love you so, so much, you know I do because I smother you with my love when we play together, and you do the same! I love to play with you when we get together, I love when you follow me around and say "oh geez, kiki" because I take the hat off that you put on me and take off me over and over again. And if my hair doesn't look good, you'll be the one to tell me when you say "uh oh" then fix it and say "pitty hair" I love when you see me without your uncle Brian and you say "Uh oh, wheres byan?" I love when you are so excited to see me and play with me and give me hugs! You make me laugh til' my stomach hurts and theres tears rolling down my face, even when its just me and you in the room! I love you so much Lily girl! Thanks for making me laugh everyday I see you, and for making me feel loved and for being so easy to love! You are an amazing little girl, Lily Bug and I can't wait to see you grow and mature! and to see how many hearts you'll break! haha you little flirt! I love you so much! I'll always be here when you need me, and I will always love you!
Love,
Aunt Daitdyn









Lorenzo! Talk about the stud of all 2 year old studs! Enzo, Happy Birthday! I sure do love you little man! You truly are the cutest boy ever and you melt every persons heart with your smile! That smile is the best ever, I tell your mom how cute it is all the dang time! That smile could light up anyones worst day! You are such a smart boy! I know you will grow up to do something so amazing and meaningful in this world, you are a little whiz! I love to play with you! I love when you get all excited and run around and get everyone in the room excited! You are such a good brother, I love to watch you and Lily play together and to see the way you protect her and how much you love her! I can't wait for you to grow up a little bit and come on adventures with Brian and I because you are such an adventurous boy, you so fun to be around! I will always be here if/when you need me. Promise me when you grow up you will always be that protective brother, sweet, loving cuddle bug you are!
Love,
Kaitlyn (p.s. I cant wait to hear you say my name one day!)




My sister in law, Aubree, where do I begin? What an amazing woman! Since I have moved to Utah, (besides Brian) Aubree has been the person I go to for any and everything! I feel so lucky to have someone so close to me that is such an amazing woman! She is one of the best people I know, she is always doing good for others and is so selfless! She always is there for me and listens to me when I need someone to talk to! We also have so much fun together, we laugh and joke and get so carried away in our ideas and silliness! Aubree, I love you! Thank you for all that you do and have done for me! Thank you for allowing me to move in with you when I was homeless! Thank you for being an amazing person to look up to, a great role model, and such a good big sister (in law)! I can't wait for our business to start. "Sew Wright for You" - celebrity children clothing line. I love you! Happy Birthday!




Yesdnil Yenrab! aka Lindsey Barney. She is such a strong person, she's been through so much and she's still smiling! Lindsey, you light a room when you walk into it, you put a smile on everyones face! You are such a joy to be around and you have such an uplifting spirit to you! I am so grateful to have had you as such a huge role in my life in the last 6 or 7 years! Thank you for changing my life and making me who I am today! Thank you for being an example and a sister to me! I love you so much and am eternally grateful for such a beautiful friendship we have between all of us girls! I love you Lindsey, and know that I do and I always will!Happy Birthday!

(I don't have a single pic of Linds and I on my new computer, but we have about 1,000 together haha)