Mama

I've been in Arizona since Monday. I love it here, I've really been needing to come here and just be with my family. I've been having a really rough past couple of weeks. Luckily, I'm marrying into an AWESOME family who totally welcomes me, loves me, and lets me cry on their shoulder when I can't be home. I really miss hugging my mom and sitting on her lap while she works on the computer, and dates with my dad, and getting ready with Haleigh and telling each other all our funny stories from the day before, and talking to Kayla about her pregnancy, and just hanging out with Blake. (He left on his mission, and I am SO proud of him! He's doing so great and I really am so happy for him! even though I miss him a ton!) Being back in arizona is so nice. Nothing makes me happier than spending time with my family, well and Brian. Who is coming to Arizona tomorrow by the way! I'm excited I miss him so much! Anyways, I came down to be here for my moms big surgery, it's been an emotionally draining week. When I come home every night, all I can do is thank Heavenly Father for helping her through this. This is not easy, not for me, not for my sisters, not for blake, definitely not for my dad, but especially for my own mother. She is such an amazing person. She honestly is my hero. She doesn't even know much she does for people, how great of an example she is to her own kids, and everyone around her. But to me, she is the best example of a mother and a woman there is. She is a fighter, and NOTHING is stopping her from continuing to be the amazing person she is. Nothing.









If I kiss you where it's sore
If I kiss you where it's sore
Will you feel better, better, better
Will you feel anything at all?
Will you feel better, better, better
Will you feel anything at all?

I'm slow.

So as man of you may know, I was homeless for a while! But finally I found a home!
For a week after I got engaged I was living with the Wrights and poor Brian had to sleep on the couch while I got to sleep in his bed. He even cleaned his room for me and washed his sheets, which is kind of a big deal because he doesn't do these things very often. Which is weird, because Brian is kind of a neat freak or a perfectionist. Not over the top, but just perfect. Anyways, so for that whole week Brian and I were trying to find myself a place to live. Not too much luck until my ever so amazing soon to be brother and sister in law (Aubree, who is Brians older sister, and her husband Todd) offered to let me live at their home! I had to think about this for a little, only because I didn't want to be such a hassle! So I stayed at the Wrights a couple more days and Brian had to work every morning til SUPER late. So I made some new best friends to substitute my lovey while he was gone everyday. Four of them... Dee Dee (Brians mom), Aubree (Brians sister), and Lily and Lorenzo (Aubs 18 month old babies). Haha Anyways, Long story short, I moved in with Aubree and Todd in their condo in Bountiful! I think I slept there for a week, if THAT, before they sold their condo! So I got it all in their and then they of course offered for me to move with them! So I did! I am now living with them in such a beautiful house in Sandy! My Roomates are super cute! I love them!







Also, Brian and I found a house too! We put the deposit down on it and it is officially ours! Yay! I am so excited! I will post pictures of it as soon as I get them on the computer.

44 more days til' our wedding and I just wish it was only 4! I am so excited I want it to be tomorrow!

Engaged!

This time it is not a rumor. Believe it or not, I really, really am engaged! I couldn't be happier either! Tons of people have been getting on me about blogging about it.... so I guess I will. hahah I'm only a week late, don't hate on me! :)

For those of you who want the full experience... in details and all, read the whole thing!
For those of you who want it short and sweet and to the point... skip to the bottom. I'll summarize for you.

So two weeks ago I went to Arizona for a week! The whole time on the flight home I kept thinking "oh my goooodness, however am I going to be without Brian?! I will just mope, I won't do a darn thing but sit in my room and miss him!" WRONG! I spent so much time with my mama and sisters. It was so great! I loved it because I always get homesick for my family up here in Utah! I miss them a ton! So for a whole week I had my mind off of missing "my right hand" back in Utah. Until like day 5.. then I REALLY started to miss Brian. I wanted to go back to Utah.... It always seems like right when Brian and I are having so much fun then one of us has to go somewhere! Then I have separation anxiety! Okay, that's a lie. I don't have separation anxiety, but I do freak out when we're apart for a long time! (He does too, its not just me!) haha and one week is a LONG time. If you've ever had a boyfriend who is your best friend then you totally understand where I am coming from. Don't act like I am crazy! (I am crazy... in love! thanks Beyonce, for the right words!) Anyways, so a week went by and I was missing, missing, really MISSING Bri, if you could just get the full effect, I have to add all the extra words! I spent the day on Thursday with my Mama (ask anyone, I've called her mama forever! That's just my name for her.) It was so fun! She made all my missing go away for a short while, until I got home and packed all my stuff up! My dad took me to the airport! He really wanted to and I wasn't complaining because I love spending time with my Dad. Thursdays are our days, before I moved here to Utah. My dad and I would have date days on Thursday, I loved it! We became really close. I feel like I can talk to my parents about JUST about anything! They are the most amazing people I know. All of their kids just adore them, more like anyone who knows them does! It's the truth.....

Back to the mushy gushy love stuff.

So, I got to the airport.... the flights were full for almost the whole weekend, this was the only flight that looked even remotely good. If I didn't make this one, I was doomed to more MISSING til' Sunday! I got to the airport as soon as I could so that maybe that would help me out. It didn't. When I got through security and stood at the counter the man working told me the flight before mine was so full that it was a 90% chance I wouldn't get on. I was thinking "Theres still 10% I will though!!! Yayyyy!!" Immediately I called Brian and told him that I might not make the flight. He mumbled something, said something like "are you seriousss?! ahhh!! let me call you back" then he hung up. I said like three prayers! He called me back like 5 minutes later! Our conversation went something like this...

Me: Hello?
B: Did you say a prayer?!
Me: Yes! Did you?
B: Yeah! Like 10!
Me: Good good, well I will call you when I find anything out!
B: No, just wait on the phone...
Me: Alright, it may be a while...
B: That's okay
Me: Okay!
(silent for like 10 minutes, with a few random sentences)
Me: there goes another seat...
(Silent for 5 more)
Me: there goes 3 more seats...

This went on for a while. I promise you our phone time was thirty minutes long and thats about all that was said.
Finally, there was only two seats yet, of course the woman in front of me got the one seat. I was just waiting, "please be meee!" after all, there was 2 other people waiting with me for that ONE seat! I GOT IT!!!yeee haw. Wedged between an Asian gangster who slept on my shoulder and a very large and suer in charge woman in the very back row! Brian was so happy! I told him I would call him when I landed and got my luggage! I wouldn't be landing until 11pm. I knew he worked all day so he would be so tired so I would just walk to the passenger pick up and he'd pick me up!

After the LONGEST, hour and a half of my life.. I called Brian when I landed! ahhhh, finally in the same state! I texted him and said "I'll call you when I get my bags.." When I was coming down the escalator to the baggage claim, there he was! Ah man, then I missed him even more than I did before! We waited for my luggage and then got it in the car and were on our way. I forgot to add this earlier, but Brian told me he really wanted to do something fun the night I got back to I better drink some caffeine. I found out that energy drinks make me sick! So driving home Brian kept saying I hope you are awake and pumped and stuff like that. I felt so sick, I told him I wish I was but I was so tired and felt sick to my stomach! He was bummed and said "I have a surprise for you when we get home though!!" Immediately I thought "RING!" hahah I was super exited then! Then when we got there, I saw his sister Aubree's car. I knew she had to be something to do with this engagement. I was getting engaged! Aubree is totally creative and she always knocks sense that I couldn't, into Brian. So I totally think I'm gonna get engaged. Until I go in side and Brians mom, Dee Dee, and Aubree in the kitchen! No excited or "Brian's getting engaged!" looks on there faces! Brian showed me the surprise... a tandem (double seater) beach cruiser! I was not getting engaged. If you know Brian, you know he would be super excited about that! It would be the best surprise ever to him! and it was a good one! Not what I was expecting! but good! I felt sick and tired so I wasn't in the mood to go! but Brian really wanted to so I did!

When Brian and I first started dating we went on beach cruise rides in Arizona! Alot! and a lot of the times when we visited again! Also, when I was living in Provo we did too! So this was cute that he would want to go on a bike ride! we hadn't in forever! So we rode around the blvd. took some pictures! it was fun! Then I was getting so tired so we didn't get to ride all the way to the temple like we'd planned! Oh well, I got the bike ride experience. We rode back to the house and Brian suggested we lay on a blanket in his backyard! I was tired so laying down sounded good! So we went inside and got the blankets then went and layed in the backyard. Brian laid the blankets right under the trees then ran inside to "charge his phone." which was a bit fishy because... why would he need to do that? Anyways, when he came back out he laid next to me and I was explaining to him that we should move the blankets back a little because birds were all in the trees and the could poop on us! He didn't budge. Then he started to tell me how much he loved me, all the cute, mushy stuff! (this spot in his backyard was another spot we laid before. particularly, the first time we REALLY talked about getting married.) So Brian told me he had ANOTHER surprise for me! He leaned over and pushed a button and lights lit up everywhere. The trees above us! the branches dangling over us. It was so stinkin cute! Then Brian, again, told me even more of the mushy stuff then asked me to marry him! Ah man, even better than I dreamed it when I was in elementary, junior high, and a couple weeks ago! It was the most perfect thing ever!

also Aubree was hiding taking pictures, Victoria (Brian's other sister), and Dee Dee were both watching too!

Of course I said yes, and now we are engaged to be married! November 14th in the Mesa Arizona Temple!
Since a week ago I have been homeless.... we'll save that for another blog. and I've been staying with the wrights. I'm like a mosquito in their home! hahah i feel so annoying! But anyways, I have been spending a lot of time with Dee Dee and Aubree and preparing and planning for our wedding! It's been so much fun! Brian actually loves the planning part too! You have to know Brian. He's so goofy! I love him!

Anyways, I am engaged! I couldn't be more happy! So in love, can't wait for eternity!



The pictures are in a backward order!!

One of those days....

You know those days when you are just so mad, so frustrated, so stressed, so upset that you dont even want to talk to anyone because you feel like you'll put them in a bad mood? I LOVE those days.


I can't even explain to anyone what I am feeling. I am exhausted. If you know me well enough, you know I try to hide my emotions. I am using this blog more as a journal right now. I dont like to express myself. But I just had to write it down somewhere and my real journal is packed up in my car somewhere. I feel like writing my feelings down with set me free, release my pain, I hope so. I am sick of feeling this way, but maybe its good for me. Maybe its good to feel something different for a change. Although, I do not like the feeling of knots in my stomach. Not the good knots you get when someone tells you they love you, or when you feel happy, the bad knots. I do not like the bad knots.

I hate this feeling of wonder. I hate wondering "how much worse will this get?" or "when is this going to end?" Right when things feel like they are going to smoothly, nothing can bring you down, they do. RIGHT when you think that. I know this from personal experience. And when you wonder to yourself, "why me?" thats when in your mind everything seems to go wrong... nothing goes your way. I hate it.

I just wish it was 10 years from now. Or even a year, 6 months maybe. Fast forward through all the hard things. I know experiencing trials in our lives is what makes us stronger, makes us who we are. If life were easy it wouldn't be hard (Sheri Dew) Its hard for me to deal with thinking I have to go through all the rough times to get to the even better than before times. I know once they are passed I will look back and be so glad I went through them all, but right now when its hard, its really hard. If we came to this earth to be tested and right when things started to get rough and we asked for them to be easier, what would the test be, right? I know Heavenly Father wouldn't put anything in front of me that I couldn't handle. I'm a strong girl too, I can handle a lot. Which is what really scares me.


I'm rambling, I'm upset. I'm exhausted. Excuse me and my "feel bad for me post"
(Although, it's not meant to be like that at all, the last thing I ever want is for anyone to feel bad for me.

Things will get better right? They always do?
I need a vacation.

10 things

I could name a million reasons why I love you, but I dont have THAT much time on my hands.




I love you because:

1. You still love me when I don't get ready.. (this means I do not have to do my hair or makeup and he actually prefers it.)




2. You are good at EVERYTHING you do. Whether it be sports, anything with a board, swimming, ANYTHING.



3. You are sooo super cheesy and so goofy that I don't even know what to do when you say or do half the cheesy/goofy stuff you do!



4. I know what you are thinking, or what you are going to say before you can even think to!



5. I love how much fun we have together, and how ridiculously weird we are together.





6. You know when I'm having a rough day, it's your "6th sense." (As you would say)




7. I love that you don't know the words to almost ANY song, but you sing along with me and pretend you do.



8. I love that my family loves you. (not a single person doesn't love you though)







9. I love your family!










10. I love you because you are my best friend, my other half. I don't know what I was doing before I met you because now I don't know what I would ever do without you!











p.s. FOR THE RECORD, I AINT ENGAGED! hahah you would know if I was!
I love getting asked probably 10 times a day! I am not, so if you have heard that it is false. I would let you know if I was.
Trust me, when that day comes... you WILL know.